Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Mar 31, 2010 by

Posted by Danny Dover

Update: Happy April Fools day everyone! icon biggrin Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes) Thanks to all of those who played along and everyone who participated (willingly or not ;-p). Hopefully this made you or a friend smile as much as everyone here at the office. Until next year, Cheers!


 At SEOmoz, we have always striven to be at the forefront of understanding digital search. As web search has become an increasingly solved problem, some of our researchers have begun to switch their focus from Google to Facebook. Facebook is unique in that it is able to data mine social patterns between real life friends. This is increasingly critical data because as our lives become more busy, automation of simple tasks like social networking become more necessary.

Based on these trends, I am proud to announce our brand new tool, Facebook Status Optimizer.

logged in small Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Facebook Status Optimizer (FSO) automatically posts status updates on your behalf that are algorithmically written to ensure your status updates beat the competition and appear at the top of your friend’s newsfeed. SEO was largely about making money, so we are happy that Facebook Status Optimizer’s focus is aligned with what really matters in life – being popular online.

Key Benefits:

Automate talking with your friends with data from your actual behavior!


facebook chat Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

friend request Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

hooked on phonics Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

facebook profile Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

 

Computer learning algorithms learn from your friends’ popular status updates


Your friend’s popular status update:

harry potter(2) Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Your automatically generated message:

I just survey Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Your friend’s popular status update:

lost tonight Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Your automatically generated message:

FOUND Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Your friend’s popular status update:

car gas Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Your automatically generated message:

sick family Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

 

FSO posts statuses that are algorithmically determined to get you more attention!


mozbot Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

forgot(2) Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

plutonium Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

HOW Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Share helpful product reviews with those that you care about!


skin rash Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

Visa(1) Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

 miley Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)


Start using Facebook Status Optimizer today!

 

start optimizing Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)

 


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 Dear Internet, Meet Facebook Status Optimizer (Boom, Mind Explodes)